Day 03 - something I never leave the house without

My Glasses!
(thanks to the tech crew for providing me with this very sensible answer!)

Day 02 - Three inspirational quotes

Hmmm.

Well, ok, so they're song lyrics....

'Girl, you've got to know that it's time to turn the page
When you're only wet because of the rain'
'Northern Lad' Tori Amos


'Sometimes I breathe you in
And I know you know
... found your writing on my wall
and my heart is soaking wet
Boy your boots can leave a mess'
'Hey Jupiter' Tori Amos

Every finger in the room
Is pointing at me
I want to spit in their faces
Then I get afraid of what that could bring
Got a bowling ball in my stomach
Got a desert in my mouth
Figures that my courage would choose to sell out now
'Crucify' Tori Amos

Apt because I'm going to see Tori at The Royal Albert Hall tonight, and I'm ridiculously excited!

Day 1 - even if it is now day 2 - A Self Portrait

Having decided to go for the 30 Days Hath November, I have to confess to having had something of a panic/freak out moment when I realised that I was going to have to post a photo of me - and even worse a photo of me taken by me. I know a lot of people don't like having their picture taken - but that's not it, I don't mind having my picture taken if I don't look like a bloody heffer. At the moment I HATE how I look so much that photos of myself seem like deliberate attacks on my equilibrium. The concept of a self portrait feels about as welcome as a bout of self harm, frankly. I know this isn't a particularly healthy way to be, and I have been trying to come to terms with parkrun photos, whilst also working on the weight issue.

Once I'd stopped stressing out last night, I actually got my camera out, and started to play. I'm not good at self portraits! Not just because I hate the subject, but because I don't like taking photos without being able to use the view finder... maybe I need to practise!

Note the newly constructed desk in the background, the books, and the big fluffy cat on the desk.

Wow, that was stressful.
To think, I'm actually quite a well adjusted individual *splutter*

30 days hath November - can I start tomorrow???

Yes yes, I know, haven't posted for ages - and I've just had a week off... but it's all been a bit nuts, which is nothing new, I guess!

Anyway, I'm going to be blogging lots for the next month,and the reason why is below - it's called '30 days hath November' and there's a task for everyday... I first saw this on Dani's blog over at www.alimelessordinary.com last year, and really liked the idea, so am going to give it a shot.

So, what's day 1 - oh bugger it.... watch this space!!!

Day 01: A self-portrait.
Day 02: Three inspirational quotes.
Day 03: Something I never leave the house without.
Day 04: A friend I adore.
Day 05: Three years ago today.
Day 06: A book I'm reading.
Day 07: A song for the day.
Day 08: The last item I purchased.
Day 09: A close-up of my day.
Day 10: What I love about my job.
Day 11: Something I’ve been craving.
Day 12: Three blogs I can’t get enough of.
Day 13: Something I'm proud of.
Day 14: A favourite movie.
Day 15: Some style inspiration for the season.
Day 16: Someone who inspires me.
Day 17: My family.
Day 18: What I wore today.
Day 19: A silly self-portrait.
Day 20: A childhood anecdote.
Day 21: Something I could never tire of.
Day 22: Some place I’ve traveled.
Day 23: Eight things you didn't know about me.
Day 24: Something that means a lot to me.
Day 25: The contents of my purse.
Day 26: Something I'm looking forward to.
Day 27: Myself, one year ago.
Day 28: A skill I'd like to learn.
Day 29: Some place I'd like to visit.
Day 30: Three wonderful things that happened this month.

Here comes the sun .... maybe.

It's been a really difficult week.

I know that hormones are a part of it, but things have been so much more positive this term, I honestly didn't think that the sadness which always seems to hit with a period would be so intense. On Sunday I barely got out of bed - stomach cramps were a part of it, but I actually couldn't face the world - which hasn't happened since we went back to school. All week I've been wallowing around in a state of something which has all the hallmarks of depression. Staying at home hasn't been an option, as Shaun has been back at work this week, and my flat is in turmoil (very noisy turmoil at that) Things are so messy, but there is little point in cleaning or tidying, as the next day just takes it straight back to the same state. Getting up and into school everyday has been very very difficult - it's seemed utterly pointless, and so draining - but I've been in everyday, and have managed to avoid total meltdown.

And now.... well, the hormone factor has removed itself, (just about,) and I have the edges of a cold instead. Still no hot water or heating in the flat, and now there is no gas, following a small leak type problem. Cats are very clingy, once I get them indoors - obviously they are unsettled by the madness in their world. ( me too!) Financially, things are worryingly tight. If I think about it too much, I feel sick. The flat is in total chaos. This morning it was so cold I could see my breath in the air in my bedroom, and I had to scrape ice off my car...

and yet, in spite of this, I started to see beyond the gloom this morning. It literally felt like fog lifting in my brain this morning as I scraped the ice off of the windscreen.

Odd.

I'm not complaining though.

brrrrrrr!

So, the end of the summer has definitely happened. We have Autumn, maybe even the beginnings of Winter - this is the time when normally I break my promise to myself about not putting the heating on until half-term, and turn my flat into a warm and snuggly place!

This year, there is no danger of such weakness. Not through any virtuousness on my part, unfortunately, but because I have no heating - and although the lovely Shaun was back at work today (having a party with red brick dust, it would appear!) a week lost due to finger injury means there will be no heating until almost the end of half-term.

And how am I coping with this? It was fine until the temperature dropped! Yesterday I could see steam when I breathed out! This coldness, coupled with some pretty impressive stomach cramps (yay) has resulted in the following: I'm in bed, in a sleeping bag, under a duvet. I have 2 hot water bottles - one with my feet, one on my tummy - and one (for now) cat lying on top of me. I have a huge mug of Lady Grey Tea next to me, and I'm surrounded by books: 'Live Bait' (a thriller by pj tracy) 'Skinny Bitch' (a book about diet and lifestyle which is currently making me think very hard, and feel a bit inadequate) Eric Clapton's Auto-biography (because it's there!) and a book of photos of Brighton Beach.

There are many things I should be doing, but I'm having the evening off. I went to school today - in spite of feeling like death - so I think a night of relaxation is allowed. (and apart from to nerve-stretching pains, I'm having fun)

Normal service shall be resumed tomorrow - we're running Tuesday and Thursday this week, and I'll be leaving the car at school tomorrow evening, for walkingness. This week's run times will be aiming towards 1min45seconds running to 1min15seconds walking, but given how difficult the jump from 1.15/1.45 to 1.30/1.30 was, I think we might do it in installments. Julie and I did an extra run on Saturday afternoon. We stuck with the same 1.30/1.30 timing, and did the whole 5km. Julie really worked hard, and I was encouragement and bullying! We did it in 43:02, which is pretty slow, but still a first for me for sometime. And a benchmark to work from!

Today's pic is my pc wallpaper for this week - it's the frosty morning of Saturday's parkrun!

Of Kittehs and runnings and smart phones that aren't smart....

Well, I can't believe it's gotten all the way to Thursday and this is my first post since Sunday... it's been an odd week!

I've walked to school twice, walked home once (cadged a lift once)so far this this week. The progress made to my heating/hot water refit is precisely none at all whatsoever, because Shaun has hurt his hand. The cats have fleas (again)and as a result the entire flat smells like a chemical dump from the flea spray. There is a small annoying Ginger Kitteh which is desperately looking for a second home/trying to steal my cats food - it sits and cries outside the door, and makes me feel so mean - my cats are really stressed out about it, and are both spending a vast amount of time sitting outside guarding the entrance to their domain. I barely see them, which makes me sad.

Peggy was determined to sit on the top, even though there were trays in the way....
I heard a loud crash ... can't think what happened!

Blackberry died, taking with it my ability to access the tinternet at school - no emails, no twitter... it's been really odd, and yet probably it's a good thing to not be constantly glued to my phone... what the blackberry outage did mean was that I spent hours every night catching up with all the messages I'd missed during the day, and as a result I haven't had much time to blog.

The other reason there hasn't been a great deal of blogging going on is as shown below ... sleeping kitteh's don't move easily... Bless Frankie!

There has been some 'running' - 1min30running/1min30walking x ten. We've done this twice this week, and have one more to go. The first one was v hard, but it gets easier everytime ... in theory!

Anyway, am going to go and find autumn leaves to photograph...