Here comes the sun .... maybe.

It's been a really difficult week.

I know that hormones are a part of it, but things have been so much more positive this term, I honestly didn't think that the sadness which always seems to hit with a period would be so intense. On Sunday I barely got out of bed - stomach cramps were a part of it, but I actually couldn't face the world - which hasn't happened since we went back to school. All week I've been wallowing around in a state of something which has all the hallmarks of depression. Staying at home hasn't been an option, as Shaun has been back at work this week, and my flat is in turmoil (very noisy turmoil at that) Things are so messy, but there is little point in cleaning or tidying, as the next day just takes it straight back to the same state. Getting up and into school everyday has been very very difficult - it's seemed utterly pointless, and so draining - but I've been in everyday, and have managed to avoid total meltdown.

And now.... well, the hormone factor has removed itself, (just about,) and I have the edges of a cold instead. Still no hot water or heating in the flat, and now there is no gas, following a small leak type problem. Cats are very clingy, once I get them indoors - obviously they are unsettled by the madness in their world. ( me too!) Financially, things are worryingly tight. If I think about it too much, I feel sick. The flat is in total chaos. This morning it was so cold I could see my breath in the air in my bedroom, and I had to scrape ice off my car...

and yet, in spite of this, I started to see beyond the gloom this morning. It literally felt like fog lifting in my brain this morning as I scraped the ice off of the windscreen.

Odd.

I'm not complaining though.

brrrrrrr!

So, the end of the summer has definitely happened. We have Autumn, maybe even the beginnings of Winter - this is the time when normally I break my promise to myself about not putting the heating on until half-term, and turn my flat into a warm and snuggly place!

This year, there is no danger of such weakness. Not through any virtuousness on my part, unfortunately, but because I have no heating - and although the lovely Shaun was back at work today (having a party with red brick dust, it would appear!) a week lost due to finger injury means there will be no heating until almost the end of half-term.

And how am I coping with this? It was fine until the temperature dropped! Yesterday I could see steam when I breathed out! This coldness, coupled with some pretty impressive stomach cramps (yay) has resulted in the following: I'm in bed, in a sleeping bag, under a duvet. I have 2 hot water bottles - one with my feet, one on my tummy - and one (for now) cat lying on top of me. I have a huge mug of Lady Grey Tea next to me, and I'm surrounded by books: 'Live Bait' (a thriller by pj tracy) 'Skinny Bitch' (a book about diet and lifestyle which is currently making me think very hard, and feel a bit inadequate) Eric Clapton's Auto-biography (because it's there!) and a book of photos of Brighton Beach.

There are many things I should be doing, but I'm having the evening off. I went to school today - in spite of feeling like death - so I think a night of relaxation is allowed. (and apart from to nerve-stretching pains, I'm having fun)

Normal service shall be resumed tomorrow - we're running Tuesday and Thursday this week, and I'll be leaving the car at school tomorrow evening, for walkingness. This week's run times will be aiming towards 1min45seconds running to 1min15seconds walking, but given how difficult the jump from 1.15/1.45 to 1.30/1.30 was, I think we might do it in installments. Julie and I did an extra run on Saturday afternoon. We stuck with the same 1.30/1.30 timing, and did the whole 5km. Julie really worked hard, and I was encouragement and bullying! We did it in 43:02, which is pretty slow, but still a first for me for sometime. And a benchmark to work from!

Today's pic is my pc wallpaper for this week - it's the frosty morning of Saturday's parkrun!

Of Kittehs and runnings and smart phones that aren't smart....

Well, I can't believe it's gotten all the way to Thursday and this is my first post since Sunday... it's been an odd week!

I've walked to school twice, walked home once (cadged a lift once)so far this this week. The progress made to my heating/hot water refit is precisely none at all whatsoever, because Shaun has hurt his hand. The cats have fleas (again)and as a result the entire flat smells like a chemical dump from the flea spray. There is a small annoying Ginger Kitteh which is desperately looking for a second home/trying to steal my cats food - it sits and cries outside the door, and makes me feel so mean - my cats are really stressed out about it, and are both spending a vast amount of time sitting outside guarding the entrance to their domain. I barely see them, which makes me sad.

Peggy was determined to sit on the top, even though there were trays in the way....
I heard a loud crash ... can't think what happened!

Blackberry died, taking with it my ability to access the tinternet at school - no emails, no twitter... it's been really odd, and yet probably it's a good thing to not be constantly glued to my phone... what the blackberry outage did mean was that I spent hours every night catching up with all the messages I'd missed during the day, and as a result I haven't had much time to blog.

The other reason there hasn't been a great deal of blogging going on is as shown below ... sleeping kitteh's don't move easily... Bless Frankie!

There has been some 'running' - 1min30running/1min30walking x ten. We've done this twice this week, and have one more to go. The first one was v hard, but it gets easier everytime ... in theory!

Anyway, am going to go and find autumn leaves to photograph...

Fail!! Ah well - there's always another week!

I had been hoping to be putting the finishing touches to the 6th post in 6 days yesterday evening, with a view to finishing the Snowdon post today. This would mean that one of the things on the 50 list would be done (a post for every day of a week) sadly, I didn't quite make it! I had planned to do a day in pictures for Friday, which was supremely stupid, as a late night theatre trip meant there was no time to play with and upload pics (on the plus side, did see a pretty good Hamlet at the Greenwich Playhouse, so was not entirely a wasted evening!) Haven't finished the Snowdon post either - have been wardrobe sorting and cleaning the flat today - slept until 8.45, which is unheard of. Anyway. This week's been hectic, but basically good. Am looking forward to running tomorrow - equal run walk times for the first time, which is a wee bit scary. This week, I am going to try to see the positive side of stuff - turn my inner bitch into Pollyanna, or something!

Today's picture is in response to Amy's request - it's of me. (taken by Dani or Steve at the Good Companions after the parkrun on Saturday!)

It's not so hot in here....

In the summer, I had hot water. And, if I'd wanted it, heating. All working beautifully. In the last couple of week of the holidays, I had a few problems - sometimes there'd be no hot water. Some times the boiler wouldn't turn on. Then it would turn itself on, unrequested... eventually, in the middle of the night, the boiler went into overdrive, and I was woken up by what sounded like a tiger in the attic, but was in fact the entire system overheating. The boiler was going at full blast, there was a hideous smell of melting plastic and hot paint, the shell of the boiler was red-hot, and neither the emergency cut-off or the on off switch on the timer had any effect whatsoever. Panic inspired, I shut off the electricity, which did indeed switch off the boiler. (electro-magnetic valve, don't you know) Long story short, the lovely Shaun Cooney, aka 'Banstead Boilers,' is replacing my entire heating system, including the shower, and all the radiators. This is not cheap (thanks Mum and Dad) but will be amazing. It is also not quick. I have survived the whole of September without hot water, and obviously, no heating. Fortunately, it's been really lovely and warm, and in spite of my addiction to hot baths, I've survived thanks to decent showers at school, and my own miserable electric shower. Shaun started work yesterday (5th of Oct) which may prove timely, as it is starting to get cold.

I arrived home yesterday to a pile of old radiators in the garden, and a pair of slighly disgruntled cats - hopefully the kittehs will be happy kittehs once the heating is fixed!

This is what my bedroom to be looks like at the moment ... note the 'Toy Story' lunch box, which Shaun told me - a little too quickly - belongs to his son!

All is moving on well!

Walk avoidance - well, it is raining!

Ok, so the last two posts have covered two of the things on my '50' list - exercise and vegetatianism - so I thought I'd make it three in a row: walking to school. The goal is to walk to and from school at least once a week. Why? A number of reasons: basic fitness, it's a two mile walk, with a pretty hefty hill in the middle. The fresh air concept - particularly if the route goes over the downs rather than along the road, the downs are beautiful, and if it isn't raining, it's a really lovely walk. Finances, less driving is less petrol used, which is definitely a good thing, from both a money and planet saving perspective.

In an ideal world, I'd like to avoid driving as much as possible - the green lobbyist in me isn't happy about driving 2 mile distances twice a day. The once a week thing is a start, with a view to making it more often where possible.

The problems with walking are that it takes half an hour, and I struggle with early mornings - the 20 minutes earlier that I have to leave to walk are actually worth 3 hrs of time at any other point in the day. It isn't an easy walk, and not one which I would like to attempt carrying anything very much. Also, when raining, the pretty route is slippy, and muddy, and may prove impossible. I tend to arrive at school all hot and sticky, and need to have a shower, which is fine, but does mean I can't afford to leave home late, and that I have to have a change of clothes at school already.

Experience tells me that no matter how good my intentions, if the car is outside the house in the morning, I won't walk, so generally, I'm driving into school on a Monday morning, and leaving the car at school - which means I have to walk in on Tuesday. In theory, if I get organised on a Sunday, I can work out whether I actually need the car any evening (for eg, I usually go to Kaye's in Sutton on a Wednesday) and I can then take clothes/basis for lunches into school for the days I intend to walk. If I go to Sutton a Wednesday I have choices - either I walk in on Thursday, leaving the car at home (not very likely)or I drive in and leave the car again on Thursday. Either way, I need to have the car on Friday evening to bring everything home again (there is also the matter of a week's worth of running gear)

So far, this has actually been going really well. I enjoy the walk when it's over the Downs, hate it on the roads. I need to get into the habit of getting up earlier, and make sure the right things come home with me each evening! What I have discovered, surprisingly, is that walking in is easier than walking home - the steepness of the hill really hurts my knees - so if I can get a lift down the hill, I'm happy to accept!

Anyway, back to the story behind today's headline. It was raining. My back hurt. I was late leaving home. I went the road way, not just becausse of the rain, but because - if I'm honest - I hoped I might get a lift! Several members of staff drove past me ('I didn't see you - sorry')and right at the very bottom of the hill, a lady was just coming out of her house, and offered me a lift. Her name is Joan, she's a retired PE teacher, and she is definitely on my hero list!

The view on the Downs which makes the walk worthwhile.

October is vegetarian month...pass me the yams

So. When writing the epic list of 50, I decided that I wanted to spend a year of each month not eating meat. Why? Guilt, I guess. I hate the way animals are treated in the meat industry, and to (mis)quote Dani's blog (http://www.alimelessordinary.com/)
'cute in the field doesn't equal dead on a plate.' I hadn't intended to do this so early in the year, but got invovlved in a conversatiation with Dani post-parkrun in which it slowly dawned on me that all the reasons I'm not a vegetarian anymore (used to be ... back in the day, got mugged by a bacon sandwich)are basically excuses, and the real reason is simple: I like meat.

What I don't like is the manner in which animals are treated both as they live/grow and the manner in which they are killed. If I could afford to only buy meat from'free range' and humanely slaughtered animals, then I would do so, and quite happily eat away! However, the River Cottage option isn't open to all of us, and so I am being a vegetarian instead - for a month to start with, and then we will see....

The rules of engagement: No meat! I am going to eat fish though, specifically tuna - on the grounds that they swim in the sea for most of their lives, and that can't be a bad way to be! Also, eggs (free range, of course) and dairy products are allowed. I don't often drink milk anyway, as I have a mild lactose intolerence, but I do eat more cheese than is good for me (and then there's chocolate....) I am aware that the way in which Dairy herds are kept is often appalling, and one of my missions this month is to research whether there is a cow friendly way of eating these things.

It's the 4th of October, and so far, so good. A certain amount of quorn products found their way into my (morrison's) trolley this week, and I'm planning a return to lentil consumption for the end of the week - may end up barefoot with flowers in my hair if this goes on....

Of all the lies we tell, the worst are the ones we tell to ourselves - Thanks to Dani for giving my self-deception a well timed and much deserved kicking!

Some cows - who I shall not be eating! - taken in Snowdonia this summer.

Maybe this running lark isn't so bad...

Another teeny post - Snowdon is coming along nicely!

Friday's run didn't happen - it was tooooo hot, and there was danger of death! Saturday's parkrun was also cursed by heat - 28degrees at 8.45 - and only 40 people were brave enough to run. I dragged the Watkins up onto the Downs in the evening to run instead - and it was really nice, although a bit dark (as in pitch black) by the end - found a stray sign which had been left on the path at Condon corner, and given the cost of these, am glad I did! Anyway, we did 5km at a very gentle walk/run pace, in 42 mins. Am now trying to work out whether I can fit in an official parkrun this month, or whether I will have to wait til November. Hmmm.

Spent a lot of time this week end editing photos - from Steven's 21st, RDp and Bushy Junior parkrun - obviously I would have mowed the lawn otherwise.....

Am looking forward to tonight's run - 10 reps of 1min,15sec running/ 1min, 45secs walking

This week's photo was taken in Bushy park yesterday at midday - it's one of my heroes, Mara Yamauchi, Team GB marathon runner, out for a training run with her husband pacing her on a bike. She was going fast!