Here comes the sun .... maybe.

It's been a really difficult week.

I know that hormones are a part of it, but things have been so much more positive this term, I honestly didn't think that the sadness which always seems to hit with a period would be so intense. On Sunday I barely got out of bed - stomach cramps were a part of it, but I actually couldn't face the world - which hasn't happened since we went back to school. All week I've been wallowing around in a state of something which has all the hallmarks of depression. Staying at home hasn't been an option, as Shaun has been back at work this week, and my flat is in turmoil (very noisy turmoil at that) Things are so messy, but there is little point in cleaning or tidying, as the next day just takes it straight back to the same state. Getting up and into school everyday has been very very difficult - it's seemed utterly pointless, and so draining - but I've been in everyday, and have managed to avoid total meltdown.

And now.... well, the hormone factor has removed itself, (just about,) and I have the edges of a cold instead. Still no hot water or heating in the flat, and now there is no gas, following a small leak type problem. Cats are very clingy, once I get them indoors - obviously they are unsettled by the madness in their world. ( me too!) Financially, things are worryingly tight. If I think about it too much, I feel sick. The flat is in total chaos. This morning it was so cold I could see my breath in the air in my bedroom, and I had to scrape ice off my car...

and yet, in spite of this, I started to see beyond the gloom this morning. It literally felt like fog lifting in my brain this morning as I scraped the ice off of the windscreen.

Odd.

I'm not complaining though.